Let me be me

Got news this morning. A message in the middle of the night. I didn’t understood when I first read it. Now, it’s starting to sink in. It sounds like : goodbye.

Words can mean so many things. It’s always a matter of individual perception. I still don’t get it why most people just let the receiver interpret it anyway they perceive it. That’s how Indonesians are I guess. For we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by the directness of our words. Being indirect actually is more hurtful than being direct because it pierce harder and deeper.

I’m never really good in this area. I just say it how I see it. That’s why I don’t have so many friends. I tend to explain what I meant so others don’t misunderstand. But even that is dragging for most people. Again, that’s why I lose people in my life.

A consequence I gotta bear and accept with open arms despite the hurt and sadness. I may be hardcore on the outside, but inside is vulnerable. I get hurt easily.

I guess.. There’s no one to blame but myself. Or, there shouldn’t be any blame. Ppl would choose what’s best for them. And, I need to act what’s best for me too.


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