The Mind

As always…  So many things happening in my head. It’s a non stop storm. It has all the power of my being. That’s how powerful the mind is. It takes over everything. Where am I in this matter?  Apparently,  I’m overpowered by my own mind. I’m lost in my own mind. Knowing this,  still I struggle. So many times I try to replace it with other thoughts,  but the storm still comes back.
Am I missing something?  What is it that I actually want to believe?  The storm in my mind only hurts me and bring me sorrow,  yet I stick to it. Give in to it. Why is that?  Why do I enjoy this storm?  When it only drags me even further down to the abyss.
It seems so easy for so many people to control their thoughts. So,  why can’t I? Or,  how come I don’t want to?  What benefit will it bring to me?  Only painful, sorrow and anger feeling.
I’m so tired. It drains the life inside of me. In a way..  It’s like suicide,  isn’t it?  But this is like killing myself slowly. But it’s just the same as stabbing myself or cutting my wrist or whatever way of suicide. Killing myself through my own mind is the worst of them all.  It’s a lifetime suffering. It’s silently dying inside..  Slowly. And the light and life just disappears.
I speak of it like it’s about someone else. There’s no one out there. I should have know that. No one out there to rescue me. I’ve proven it. No matter what people say. No matter what people do. I’m all alone. Because eventually people get tired and fed up of me. What once interest them,  no longer is. What once was magic for them,  no longer exist. Everyone is in it for themselves. It’s just how it is. So,  are we really connected?  Or is it just a concept when most people deny the connection..  When we all deny exactly how we feel.. When each one of us just want to protect one person only,  ourselves.

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