What I want is to be happy. But happiness is a choice not just something I want. A choice in attitude, day by day. I used to think, I still do, that happiness is because of certain things or certain people. When it’s not supposed to be like that. If it is, which still is, depends on other people but myself. Tricky. I want someone else for me to love. I want to just be myself around them. Not having to worry they’d leave me. Not having to be afraid they’d stop loving me. Maybe I already them. It’s only I’m not able to see. Or, I see someone who is beyond my reach. That’s why it feels empty at times. Especially when I’m not around the person or whatever it is I desire.
Need is having someone need me. When I feel useful, I feel needed.
Now… I don’t feel people need me so much anymore.