Runny nose, again. Already 3 months with this flu. Another episode of waking up around this hour. Having thoughts of “the usual.” Why? Why is it the same? Why am I having this every night? Why does it feel like I’m the only one having these thoughts? Coz it’s my thoughts, d’oh! Unnecessary question.
I do that a lot. Have in my mind things that for most people is just unnecessary. Why do I keep thinking about things that aren’t really necessary to think about? When I say necessary, it’s kinda like not essential. The thing is… I always ask in different kinda ways, and I get upset when I don’t get the answer. I don’t like assuming or guessing what’s up. But, asking does sound kinda silly or invasion of privacy. So yes, I do hold back.
It is frustrating. My mind.
It is my mind, yet it is out of my control. Maybe because I let it do whatever it wants all my life, that it just like this.
I think out loud. Usually I share it with someone I trust. Apparently, for most people, again, unnecessary thoughts. Too random. Or not attractive. Why do i need to care about what others think? Even if it’s someone who’s so important to me right now. Why should I care? Why I do what I do to myself?
I don’t have a clue of my own mind. Just too much. Sometimes I feel like I need someone just to be there. But of course what was attractive before, has changed now for that person. Hmmm..