Over and over the word doubt comes up.
I could say all the things about the pain I feel because of that word, yet I rather not. It’s hard to describe.
I’ve been choosing to go for it all the way, but it feels most of time like ramming my head to a huge wall and the one that gets hurt is myself.
I can only give myself , whether the gift is accepted or not is no longer my choice. That I need to accept. That I need to respect.
Nothing more. Nothing less. It’s just how it is.
With that I also need to constantly remind myself, to leave people alone because they have priorities, and I’m not one of them.