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I’m fully responsible for how my life is right now. All this numbness,  pain,  sadness is my creation. My unwillingness to face up with my feelings. The consequence I’m dealing now is overthinking every single thing. And that paralyzes.

I can’t count on anyone else but myself. No one in this earth have the answer. I made this happen to me,  I’m the only person to undo it. It’s the battle with myself..  Or maybe it isn’t. Maybe all I need is to look in the mirror,  look at me,  no one else, to truly see who i am. Others around me are a distraction from me seeing who I am.

It only causes assumptions,  that maybe true and maybe not. I’ve been too absorbed in my thoughts,  I failed to see me.

Who am I? 

For too long I’ve been betraying myself by seeking love and affection from others. Others only served as a reflection,  showing me parts of me. It’s always been there. Focus. Focus on me. And that 1 person I’m responsible for, my son.

I need me. He needs me.
For me,  for my son,  I need to to find me again.

Who am I?

Once I find me,  I know I’m home no matter where I am.

It’s now.

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