Just like fireworks
life can be so vibrantly colored, exciting and full of surprises
But, it will also disperse, dissappear in an instant
Leaving its residue behind
A little trace of joy left
Becomes a part of once was
A sweet memory
Serentak senyum terbentuk
Senyum tipis, simpul, manis, lebar bahkan nyengir
Hanya karena kata keju!
Asli atau palsu, tak ada yang tau
Tapi hatimu.. Jiwamu tau…
Mulutmu bisa bersandiwara, matamu tidak
Ah! Dia terlihat baik-baik saja
Dia terlihat bahagia
Semua jadi ahli soal dirimu selain dirimu
Lebih enak di makan daripada jadi kata untuk bersandiwara
Tears become a fix
The more it hurts, the more rush you get
You create it by looking for more
Like what has happened is not enough
More and more you drown in your own blood
Not helping yourself becomes an addiction
Loose a sense of self
Because the search becomes more out there but in here..
Forever lost in an infinite darkness
Somehow.. At this stage of my life, this song sings straight to my whole being. I’ve wrote it in this personal blog. I’ve said it to myself over and over again. Trying to convince myself for millions of time, to love myself. To be gentle to my whole being. Old habits die hard, and this one, self destruction.
There’s no hope.
There’s only a decision to choose for a new path. For a new way of living. For an attitude. Now. Or regret it at the end of my life.
I’m calling to my soul. To my heart. As crazy it may look or sound…. Be brave. It’s not too late to forgive yourself. To forgive others. To love… You…
You know this.
What else is there?
There there… Stop the tears from flowing, dear
Yes it does hurt again, and it will always will because it matters so much for you, isn’t it?
Don’t you think it’s enough already?
See what’s in front of you..
There’s just so many things you can be grateful for every moment in every single day
Crying or being sad doesn’t mean you’re not grateful, I know
You just miss how some things were, and wished it didn’t go away
It’s life, no?
Change… Coming and leaving…
People judging you no matter what you do…
Who do want to be?
The path you choose won’t be easy and it’s not easy even now, isn’t it?
But, you’ll get through it
So what, if people see you cry and sad?
You know you’re worth, don’t you?
Hold on to that! No matter what…
The question now is… Is it worth fighting for by yourself? Is it worth more than yourself?
Nothing or no one should be worthy more than yourself except your parents and your children. Shouldn’t it?
At a certain point you just got to realize, you were never important in the first place
And, accept the bitterness already