Brave by Sara Barreilles

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say by John Mayer (song)

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put ’em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say [x24]

Dingin

Suara hujan deras menemani saya malam ini. Sebenarnya ada 2 manusia yg menemani saya dlm mobil yg membawa kami plg ke rmh, tapi entah kenapa rasanya seperti terpisah. Rasanya saya seperti sendiri dlm mobil ini. Hujan makin deras dan kencang, jantung saya pun sama kencangnya dan berdetak gak beraturan seperti suara hujan.

Dalam kepala sejuta tanda tanya. Benar- benar tanda tanya, gak ada kata atau kalimat. Mungkin satu. Apa maksud semua ini? Tapi satu pertanyaan itu malah terus membawa saya makin dalam ke kegelapan. Dingin. Kosong aja.

Rasanya mau nangis, tapi gak ada air mata sama sekali. Cuma sesak. Kepala penuh. Takut.

Berani? Kali ini saya gak merasa berani. Bahkan saya merasa gak berdaya sama sekali. Stuck.

Should I go where my heart says? Or this is just a dream? Is this real?

Which one is speaking? My heart? My head? My desire? My ego?  Do I even know the difference anymore?

The Giving Tree by Shell Silverstein

Once, there was a tree…
And she loved a little boy.
And every day the boy would come
And he would gather her leaves
And make them into crowns and play king of the forest.
He would climb up her trunk
And swing from her branches
And eat apples
And they would play hide-and-go-seek.
And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade.
And the boy loved the tree… very much…
And the tree was happy.
But time went by,
And the boy grew older.
And the tree was often alone.
Then, one day, the boy came to the tree and the tree said:
–”Come, Boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy!”
–”I am too big to climb and play” said the boy. “I want to buy thing and have fun. I want some money.
Can you give me some money?”
–”I’m sorry”, said the tree,”but I have no money. I have only leaves and apples. Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in city. Then you will have money and you’ll be happy.”
And so the boy climbed up the tree and gathered her apples and carried them away.
And the tree was happy…
But the boy stayed away for a long time… and the tree was sad.
And then one day the boy came back, and the tree shook with joy, and she said:
–”Come, Boy come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy.”
–”I am too busy to climb trees,” said the boy. “I want a house to keep me warm”, he said. “I and want a wife and I want children, and so I need a house. Can you give me a house?”
–”I have no house”, said the tree. “The forest is my house”, said the tree. “But you may cut off my branches and build a house. Then you will be happy”.
And so the boy cut off her branches and carried them away to build his house. And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time…
And when he came back, the tree was so happy she could hardly speak.
–”Come, Boy” she whispered, “Come and play”.
–”I am too old and sad to play”, said the boy. “I want a boat that will take me away from here. Can you give me a boat?”
–”Cut down my trunk and make a boat”, said the tree. “Then you can sail away… and be happy”.
And so the boy cut down her trunk
And made a boat and sailed away.
And the tree was happy…
But not really.
And after a long time the boy came back again.
–”I am sorry, Boy”, said the tree, “but I have nothing left to give you – My apples are gone”.
–”My teeth are too weak for apples”, said the boy.
–”My branches are gone”, said the tree. “You cannot swing on them”.
–”I am too old to swing on branches”, said the boy.
–”My trunk is gone”, said the tree. “You cannot climb”.
–”I am too tired to climb”, said the boy.
–”I am sorry” sighed the tree. “I wish that I could give you something… but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump. I am sorry…”
–”I don’t need very much now”, said the boy. “Just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired”.
–”Well”, said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could, “well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down… sit down and rest”.
And the boy did.
And the tree was happy…
The end.

Blank

Sering bgt ya.. Hati sama otak gk sinkron. Hati merasa ky mau meledak”, tapi otak ragu. Maju satu kaki dgn satu kaki nya lg tertahan di blkg.

Mau jadi apa?

……..
Dan berhenti disitu. Jadi blank lagi. Gk tau mesti mikir n nulis apalagi.

Ada apa sbnrnya? Pertanyaan” ini? Rasa ini?

What must I do?

Reminder! Big time!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson

Hiding place

Let me find a place to hide
A place to let go all of this pain
All this sorrow
I’m tired
….
Please hold me and tell me, it’s ok
Just let it out
You’re safe here
No need to be afraid
It’s ok to feel the pain and sadness
You’re human after all
Doesn’t make you weak
It just makes you real
Remember though
Always find your way back
Even if you feel lost and defeated
Even if it feels you no longer have strength
Keep on breathing
Keep on living
Being you again

With silence

No sound
In the dark of night
Stop the wave of thought
Focusing just on my breath
In and out
No expectations
No thoughts
No feelings
Just the sound of breath in the night
Let it flow
Let all thoughts and feeling come in and out
Joy, sorrow
Laughter, tear
Is just temporary
They all leave
We all leave in the end
It’s ok being alone
So, leave it here
In the silence, where it belongs