Hari ini abis nganterin kado, gelang buatan saya sendiri buat 2 temen yg ulangtahun. Alhamdulillah mrk suka dan happy. Terus di post di socmed… Dan akhirnya ada yg tertarik. Semoga jd awal sebuah perjalanan yg menarik dan seru, dan berkah. Krn tujuannya nyebar kebahagiaan aja…
Nama nih yg blm dpt utk brand nya..
Masih blm dpt sampe skrg…
Karena jd kepikiran hal lain lg… 😥
Another song by Christina Perri in “head or heart”, speaks to me.. How ironic.
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Woke up such a bad dream
I stayed, you were leaving
With my heart, you were stealing
I don’t care, I’d let you take it
Showed up, like a good girl
I fell for your fable
But I’m no Cinderella
I don’t care, I’d let you take it
Put us back together
You said, it’s forever
But I know you’re pretending
I don’t care, I’d let you take it
All again…
And I just wanna love you
Don’t wanna lose me
Don’t wanna lose you, whoa oh
If it gets harder
Then I don’t wanna break all alone
I wanna break in your
I just wanna love you
Don’t wanna lose me
Don’t wanna lose you, whoa oh
If it gets harder
Then I don’t wanna break all alone
I wanna break in your
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh
(Don’t wanna break in your)
And if it gets harder
Then I don’t wanna break all alone
I wanna break in your arms
Sometimes, when I’m sleeping
I still, feel you breathing
You stole, all my good dreams
I don’t care, I’d let you take it
Come on, listen closely
To the sound, that our love made
If you go, I would follow
I don’t care, I’d let you take it,
All again… mmmm
Sometimes, there are people who are happier without me in their lives, and that has to be enough for me. Even when it matters so much. Even when it’s already a part of who I am.
I guess this is the part of “growing up”. Accepting things that happens.
I’ll be fine… As usual.
Gotta find something else that matters to dream of and to fight for. That’s how I live, how I love life.
Another tear
Not just one
A stream
How can you stop your heart from beating
How can you stop a bird from flying when it’s only purpose is to fly
Taking away the wings will break them
It’s part of who they are
Nothing can change what’s part of them
Will it kill them softly
Will they stop fighting to heal
Will they heal
Will they change
Will they find a way to soar again
Will they surrender instead
To fate
Will they stop because they have served their purpose
Will they keep on living
Discovering a new way of life
A life full of magic
Spreading magic with their wings
Will they
Wind, do you hear their cries
Would you help them fly again
Heal what was part of them
If I can’t love myself, how can I love anyone else?
#selfreminder over and over again
I am responsible for all the choices I make and all consequences that come with that choice.
How I am now. Who I am now is a consequence of the choice that I’ve made. I may claim it’s right or wrong. When in fact it’s mere consequences of my actions. What decides it’s right or wrong comes from the values I have, comes from my point of view. A reaction towards the consequence.
I’m trying to put things into neutral now, to see it clearly. I’m human most of all, so feelings and emotions are attached. It’s OK. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Be grateful with the feelings and emotions I have because it’s a sign I’m alive.
It’s OK. Let it sink in. Feel it. Love it. It’s what makes me human. And being a human is amazing since I don’t know to be something else.
Gk tau kenapa tapi menurut saya, you gotta do something new at least once in your life. Itu aja yg saya pegang di umur yg udah hampir 35 ini. Jadi saya udh lakuin. Hipnoterapi. Suatu hal yg tadinya takut bgt utk dilakuin, krn ada price yg perlu dibayar. Konsekuensi yg gk tau apa, krn sudah mengambil jalan yg bisa dibilang pintas menurut saya.
Efeknya belum tau karena baru bgt dilakuin. Hanya skrg keliyengan dan mual karena intensitas emosi dan perasaan. Rasanya kaya masuk blender kali ya dengan kecepatan tinggi. Intens. Dan skrg pun masih gemeteran saat ngetik ini. Satu badan gemetar.
Sekarang tinggal melihat proses dan hasilnya. Sekarang perlu menenangkan badan dan pulang. Kembali ke 1 orang yg paling berarti dalam hidup saya. My universe. Yuta.
Sometimes you gotta let go of the battle within to set yourself free. It is about time, isn’t it?
Learn to let it be…
Terlibat percakapan dengan sahabat semalam, tentang kebiasaan saya nulis di blog ini. Entah numpahin apa yg ada di hati dan pikiran. Katanya, tulis buku kumpulan puisi aja biar produktif. Hmm.. Buku kumpulan puisi? Kayanya tulisan atau karya saya ini belum bisa di namain sebagai karya yg layak di jadiin buku deh. Secara simpel bgt, gak nyeni bahkan gak berirama. Hehehe… Cuma ya itu lagi… Kejujuran hati dan pikiran aja. Kata” yg suka susah diomongin atau di sampein karena tiap kali disampein malah jadinya norak atau gombal atau reaksinya, “apaan sih? Gk ngerti.” Jadi rasanya gk pantas utk di bukuin.
Minder juga tepatnya, dan malu sih karena ini sangat pribadi. Lah, kalo pribadi kenapa gk di kunci kaya diary jaman dulu? Well.. Gk tau jg ya… Niatnya cuma biar ada tempat utk ngeluapin perasaan, mau perasaan apapun itu. Curhatan klo kata temen mah. Ya gpp.. Soalnya klo curhat sama temen atau sahabat, lama” diomelin. Terus malah jadi tambah bingung, dan males dihakimi. Susah org keras kepala dan keras hati. Hehehhe.. Ataukah emang determined? Ya apapun namanya.. Tetep aja judulnya keras…Â
Kadang ya.. Merasa terjebak dalam diri sendiri. Hati, pikiran dan emosi sering gk sinkron. Masalahnya, refleks atau reaksi lbh cepet dibanding apapun. Biarpun udh melatih diri utk diam dulu sblm bereaksi, tetep aja buat bbrp org terutama kamu, masih begitu. Nasib.
Jadi ngelantur dah nih omongan.
Saya bukan tipe yg jago ngasih nasehat atau saran atau apapun namanya. Saya bisa dibilang blak”an.. Bisa dibilang sweet… Jangan” punya kepribadian ganda?! Ishhh… I think I might need professional help.. Atau ini emang proses nya yak? Nunjukin kalau betapa uniknya dan kompleks nya manusia itu (ciyeee..  Dalem bener…). Well, kompleks nya itu yg buat tiap pribadi tuh unik. Makanya komunikasi aja padahal udah 1 bahasa bisa salah tangkep. Ini sambil nulis maksudnya biar diri sendiri ngerti, tapi malah tambah pusing karena dibalik itu semua aja masih banyak cabangnya. Kaya jalanan di Jakarta yg super ruwet. Cuma ya kalau udah tau arah, mestinya gak juga ruwet. Banyak pilihan. Hanya otak nih yg bikin ruwet sendiri.Â
Arahnya sebenarnya biar sama pemahamannya, tapi lucunya jadinya dikira maksa. Ya begitulah saking pinter nya manusia… Â
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