Perasaan gak sebecanda itu
Macam spiral melingkar kebawah
Hati harusnya gak selemah itu
Membiarkan otak tak bekerja
Lelah, marah, kecewa dibuatnya
Pada diri sendiri, bukan orang lain
Jadi untuk apa merasa merana
Jika semua ternyata jadi permainan?
Setiap sel, setiap organ tubuh ada gunanya
Jadi gunakan sepenuhnya
Dirimu bukan mainan
Kata-kata hanya serangkaian angan
Sekedar membuat melayang
Seolah menembus awan
Harapan bikin mabuk kepayang
Seakan tak lagi punya pegangan
Apalah arti sebuah kata
Tanpa aksi nyata
Apalah makna tulisan tanpa tinta
Hanya membawa hampa
Why be like the rest, when you can be you?
Nothing else matters, no one else matters, as long you always choose you.
Your happiness.
Your freedom…
Hey!
Sudahkah kamu benar-benar melihat dirimu?
Mata sendu,kelabu memayungi bibirmu
Yang sudah terjadi adalah lalu
Usah di sesali,di tangisi dan di marahi
Maafkan dirimu adalah utama
Menangis dan merasa bukan tabu
Jadi hey… Menangislah…
Tapi jangan kau mengalah pada masa lalu
Hey…
Angkat dagumu…
Ukir senyummu….
Rangkul dirimu,seutuhnya
Dengan segala cela…
Kamu Indah…
Utuh….
Saat nyata dan mimpi menyatu
Terjebak antara keaslian dan Ilusi
Berada diantara;ada dan tiada
I wish it were easy
Being detached
It takes so much effort
Not letting go
Denying the pain of a goodbye, over again
They say, change is like that
Resisting it is most painful
So, 1 2 3…
Let go…. Layer by layer..
What has been given up, shouldn’t be asked back again…
No more please..
Be easy on yourself…
Be easy with your heart…
Make it so…
Remember the best of you
Remember the worst of you
How you cried,
Dissapointments,
Laughed,
And how you smiled
Nothing compares
To the same old song the heart sings
You may have thought you’ve made some tweaks
Lying to yourself just won’t work
Remembering you
Is the only thing that hasn’t changed
Another night
Blank
Drowned in my own thoughts
Memories, recent and what might have been
I’m stuck
Too scared to move
Too afraid to take a leap
I’m on my own
Who’s strength but mine?
I feel small
I feel weak
…..
When someone feels bad or sad or worried or anything unpleasant, we tend to say, it will be alright. To our children, we say that. And, that it’s ok stays with you once you grow up. Expecting things going to be alright by ignoring unpleasant emotions, feelings and thoughts. We aren’t taught to identify the problem, the cause and how to get through it. The statement of it’s going to be ok seems to be a quick fix for everything.
Humans, we are born as complex beings with so many emotions and thoughts.
What am I doing? Rationalizing emotions. Which is also a form of ignoring my feelings. Why? Because I’m always labeled as an emotional person. Drama even. Why? Because I’m not so good at expressing myself. When I say good.. Meaning acceptable by people. Most people. I get stuck mostly. Suppressing even more. No healthy outlet of emotions and feelings. Which in the end, becomes a shock, and whoever is within range will experience the discomfort.
Writing about this makes me uneasy. Feeling judged even, by myself. By my thoughts of how others might think of me, of my thoughts and feelings. Result : over thinking. And… Over kill. Suicide in kind of a subtle and in the slowest possible manner.
Even now, I just want to stop because I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to write more. I don’t want people to see me when I’m like this. It will effect not only me, but people around me. And I feel like I mostly consider how people feel or think instead of my own.
Yes… It’s selfish. It’s egotistical when you show your emotions and feelings. It’s ironic. In a world where they say you’re unique. Or, be yourself. But to what extent are you actually allowed to be yourself? Or to what extent are you allowed to show your emotions, feelings and thoughts? Is it always about what is acceptable by the greater good? Whatever the greater good means.
Diri sendiri jadi prioritas terbawah
Jadi bulan-bulanan, bahkan tahunan di injak
Oleh diri sendiri
Sampai benar-benar percaya bahwa tak berharga
Bahkan tidak layak untuk bisa tersenyum
Sekejam itu pada diri sendiri
Untuk apa?
Rasa sakit dibuat sendiri
Untuk simpati?
Buang-buang energi dan waktu
Karena simpati takkan pernah ada
Lalu sekarang apa?
Terus melukai diri sendiri dengan pikiran?
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