Noise cancelling on!

Ear plugs in
Music on max volume
People around me busy with their gadgets,  like me
Busy street
Everybody is going somewhere
To live they say
Busy,  busy to live
Is there any connection other than with gadgets in your hand
The laptop in front of you
The road in front of you
Is there a single soul connected in this busy,  busy world
Everybody for themselves
For their life,  the say
It’s a choice,  they say,  with who we want to be connected to
Aren’t we social beings
Aren’t we utterly connected in some way
Yet we choose to use a tool to stay connected
Easier,  they say
Convenient,  they say
Safer,  they say
Yet misunderstandings are created
Yet we never are satisfied
Yet the connection is never really enough
It’s not the soul
It’s just mind,  words,  physic
Not the soul,  not the heart
It’s missing the most important parts
It’s too scary
It’s too much trouble
Too much heartache
No,  not safe for me

Change

Everything changes
Changes happen for something new to be born
You’re stuck because you can’t keep up
Old and rusty believing something different from the stream
People come and go
It hurts when you care
But be brave to accept the change
Be brave to see that people will leave and forget you
That’s ok
As long as you remember
That’s all what matters
Let them forget you
But never forget how they’ve touched you and shaped who you are today
Those who were gentle to you
Those who were patient with  you
Those who pretend
Those who ignored you
Those who say the truth is mean
Every single one of them
The ones who has the biggest impact to your life
Remember them
Even when the memories give you a flood of mixed feelings
Remember them
And be thankful
Even when you say it to them and they don’t listen,
It’s ok,  be thankful through your prayers

Walk away (run)

Just leave already
Don’t look back
No one is there anymore
No one is there to catch you,  to hold you
Crying is useless
Nothing at this point will make a difference
People move on,  they leave
That’s just part of life
Wipe those tears
No more crying for people who chose to leave
Walk the other way
Just walk away,  just this time

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

Voice

To think you are heard
No matter how loud or how high you shout
Nobody listens
Everybody’s busy with the voices in their head
How can they hear beyond that
To think your voice count
It just disappears
Just a silent whisper in the wind
Not strong enough to make a difference
That’s what they’ve said,
No matter what you say,  doesn’t make much of a difference

Malaikat juga tahu (song)

Lelahmu…jadi lelahku juga
Bahagiamu…bahagiaku pasti
Berbagi takdir kita selalu
Kecuali tiap kau jatuh hati

Kali ini hampir habis dayaku
Membuktikan padamu ada cinta yang nyata
Setia hadir setiap hari
Tak tega biarkan kau sendiri
Meski seringkali kau malah asyik sendiri

Karena kau tak lihat
Terkadang malaikat tak bersayap
Tak cemerlang, tak rupawan
Namun kasih ini, silakan kau adu
Malaikat juga tahu
Siapa yang jadi juaranya

Hampamu tak kan hilang semalam
Oleh pacar impian, tetapi kesempatan
Untukku yang mungkin tak sempurna
Tapi siap untuk diuji
Ku percaya diri, cintakulah yang sejati

Namun tak kau lihat
Terkadang malaikat tak bersayap,
Tak cemerlang, tak rupawan
Namun kasih ini, silakan kau adu
Malaikat juga tahu
Siapa yang jadi juaranya

Kau selalu meminta terus kutemani
Dan kau s’lalu bercanda andai wajahku diganti
Melarangku pergi karena tak sanggup sendiri

Namun tak kau lihat
Terkadang malaikat tak bersayap,
Tak cemerlang, tak rupawan
Namun kasih ini, silakan kau adu
Malaikat juag tahu
Aku kan jadi juaranya

Dengan waktu

Waktu kan menjawab,  katanya
Sadarkah waktu kita pendek di dunia? 
1 hari 24 jam
Apa yang kau lakukan dalam waktu itu
24 jam pertama berlaku,  berganti terus setiap hari nya
Sampai kapan? 
Sampai ajal menjemput
Sudahkah kau berikan sepenuhnya dirimu dalam 24 jam 24 jam itu?
Atau kah kau tolak mereka yang ada disana,  menunggu?
Begitu kau tiba di nafas terakhirmu,  apa yang akan kau pikir kan?
Kenangan manis,  tawa
Atau kah penyesalan atas yang tak terungkap dan tak terwujud?
Bukan waktu yang menguasai hidup mu
Sadarkah kamu?

Beyond

You can see someone’s soul through their eyes,  they say
Or is it just the beauty of the eyes you see,  not the person
Humans only see what we want to see
The pleasantries, what’s likeable
Beyond the mask and armor lies a soul
Imperfect in its perfection
Or,  perfect in its imperfection
Outside is just a cocoon
And most of us fail to see the butterfly within
We see flaws,  we emphasis it
We make it who they really are
But it’s not all of who the butterfly is
The unique colors of its wings show how complex and simple they are
If only you and I can see beyond the cocoon
Beyond the flaws
Relationships would be lighter and only of one soul to another

A lost

A news of someone’s death made me think and question a lot of things about how I’ve lived my life. That statement itself may sound selfish or self centered, depending on your point of view.

First,  what have I done for people?  Have I’ve really been there for people?  Have I’ve been a person they need? Second and maybe most important,  what have I done for myself?  Have I really taken care of myself? Or,  what I’ve been doing is just demand it from people instead of taking care of myself?  That’s why all the frustration comes from. Third, so how can I be available for people when I’m not even kind to myself?  When I don’t treat myself with care? 

Yes,  I know the answers. It’s no.

It’s about time to take it one baby step at a time.

Bismillah

Self talk (singing)

Oh oh oh, there’s a place that I know
It’s not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am

Everybody’s got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody’s a picture perfect
But we’re worth it
You know that we’re worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond
From black dust
It’s hard to know
What can become
If you give up
So don’t give up on me
Please remind me who I really am

Everybody’s got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody’s a picture perfect
But we’re worth it
You know that we’re worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Don’t run away
Don’t run away
Just tell me that you will stay
Promise me you will stay
Don’t run away
Don’t run away
Just promise me you will stay
Promise me you will stay

Will you love me? ohh

_________________

Maybe…  I gotta sing this to myself

Setitik

Lebih dari setitik kesalahan yang ku buat
Sepenuhnya diriku,  terburukku
Belum kutunjukkan terbaik ku
Dan,  menghilang sudah
Berakhir dalam keburukan dan kesedihan
Karena diriku sendiri

Karena yg paling bersalah adalah aku
Membusuk dan Membisu
Dan ini akan ku bawa terus
Sampai aku memaafkan diri ku
Entah kapan itu